"Okay. Let’s not kid each other. If you’re looking at this you’re a fifteen-year-old white boy and the closest thing you have to a public record is that time the cops wrote you up for winging batteries off the overpass. And if you’re not? If you’re actually an adult tax-paying person who’s gullible enough to click on a link because it’s got a picture of a mildly hot chick? You might have bigger problems than whether or not your phone number is publicly available. Either way, though? Doesn’t matter to us. We’ll appeal to your paranoia or your lust for underage girls. We get the click either way. Have a nice day."
We’ll teach YOU valuable tricks the so-called “publishing experts” DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW, like how to ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF POWERFUL CRITICS by STICKING A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL right between the pages of YOUR BOOK.